I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Randomize
