He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Randomize