It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
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