so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
