So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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