no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
