strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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