I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
