some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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