but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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