Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
