We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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