The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
We're like a lot better than the average bears
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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