Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
