If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
