I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Randomize
