She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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