Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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