when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize