Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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