Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize
