Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
