Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
