I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
When did angry sex become our thing?
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
