pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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