So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
