Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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