this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
