Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
