I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
