me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
