my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
