we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
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