Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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