I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
