I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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