swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
