I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Swine flu is the new snow day.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
