you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
