piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I love you. Go after that dick
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
