Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
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