Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Randomize