Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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