I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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