Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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