I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize