His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
