Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
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