It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
