I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Well I just put wine in my tea
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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