no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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