I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
