Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
