I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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