; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
