I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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