summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
