2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
