i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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