Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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