Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
