3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
