I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
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