nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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