yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Randomize